What I Want To Teach My Baby Niece About Heartbreak
She wriggled in my arms, the newest, pinkest member of our family. Just over 30 days old.
(fka Danielle Ma) Rediscovering writing in NYC. I used to Carrie Bradshaw my way through my 20s, processing the chaotic throes of dating, love, and passion on the page, back in the era of Thought Catalog and xoJane. Multiple moves, degrees, and jobs later, I'm back in the best city in the world. Same heart, same itch for that pen. Different name, different set of facts and feelings to work through.
I Watch You And I Wonder
I watch you from afar because that’s the only thing that could possibly count as healthy at this point.
8 Uncomfortable Things You Should Be Talking About With Your Friends
1. Race because it’s long overdue and completely insane to ignore any longer.
Before You Cancel Your Date, Read This
I know you don’t like dating. There are people who like dating and people who don’t. You are a person who does not like dating.
You’re a badass, kickass, independent, BUSY human being doing things with your life. You’re meeting deadlines, running marathons, reading books, making art, prepping meals, calling your mom, and hanging out with the best friends a girl could ask for—when you have the time and energy, that is.
You’re a badass, kickass, independent, BUSY human being doing things with your life. You’re meeting deadlines, running marathons, reading books, making art, prepping meals, calling your mom, and hanging out with the best friends a girl could ask for—when you have the time and energy, that is.
When You Really Love Someone, You Never Stop Wanting The World For Them
I’m dress shopping today. I wish you were here, picking pretty things for me, making me feel beautiful. You always excelled at making me feel beautiful.
I fell in love with you this September. I think you knew it before I did, think you felt the air shift slightly as I tumbled in graceful and glorious denial. I think you had one hand on the small of my back, gently nudging my fall, wanting to see what would happen. Everyone wants to be loved.
I think you heard meaning in my voice before I did,
I fell in love with you this September. I think you knew it before I did, think you felt the air shift slightly as I tumbled in graceful and glorious denial. I think you had one hand on the small of my back, gently nudging my fall, wanting to see what would happen. Everyone wants to be loved.
I think you heard meaning in my voice before I did,
How To Respond Honestly When Someone Asks You How You’re Doing
Give yourself permission to not have all the answers. There’s no one keeping score but you. Stop keeping score. You can make decisions. You can change your mind. You can be unsure. You can say, “I don’t know.”
Breaking Up: The Present Participle
After a breakup, strength looks like the ability to move on, to cut communication, to archive your memories away and date other people. Weakness looks like the 1am call to talk about what happened between the two of you, the Christmas present you sent him anyways, the inability to leave texts unanswered. Strength looks like deleting his number. Weakness looks like bringing him up in day-to-day conversations. Strength looks like getting out of the house to meet the guy you found on Tinder. Weakness looks like choosing to stay in bed.
A Farewell to Adam
This is the piece I’ve been too afraid to write, the piece I’ve put off for days, now weeks, quickly circling a month. At first, I didn’t want to write it because I didn’t want to fall apart. I didn’t want to get pulled back into the pool of toxin I had just sucked out of my body. I also didn’t want to give him any more power or presence in my life than he already had. Writing immortalizes people, for better or for worse, each moment and emotion crystallized into eternity.
Boomerang
Over the course of this year – hell, over the course of 2 seasons, really – I’ve been boomeranged by 3 men. 3 ex-somethings that had been surgically removed from my life. The wounds were of varying degrees of severity but, true to form, they had all healed, leaving small, smooth, shiny little scars in their place. Evidence that the pain had happened. Evidence that I had recovered each time.
And Then I Met Adam
When I was in the 8th grade, one of my teachers told me that if I was hooked up to machines, I could power the school with my energy. I’ve always been the excitable one, passionate about all the things in my life, people especially. People are everything to me. More than knowledge or success or truth or honor or fame or good-doing, I live for people. They are the reason life is worth living. To love and be loved, that’s purpose defined. I’ve been consistently shown what unconditional love looks like (thanks Mom and Dad!) and have mirrored that in my closest relationships. There’s always been this innate curiosity to know others, to drink in their stories, uncover their vulnerabilities, and find the humanness that makes us all wonderfully weird.
Postscript
I don’t think I was breathing. I can’t remember breathing. I just remember the bright lights of bodegas & bars, my eyes sweeping that familiar street in search for your silhouette, an outline I knew so well. Or did I? A lot could change in 3 months. Hell, we unraveled in 3 fateful hours. Who knew what 3 months could do to a person?
How To Deal With Criticism
Young hearts, growing minds and thick skin are all so necessary for our quarter lives. But handling criticism can be really tough, even if we have been facing it for 20-something years. It's a tricky balance to strike—between finding learning moments and letting our spirits deflate in recoil.
The Precipice
There is an exact moment in every relationship (and meaningful non-relationship) I’ve ever been in in which things have become very serious. In a moment, in an instant—this diction chosen very deliberately because I never really have a say in the matter. It’s never a slow build up. It’s never something I can feel coming on like a cold or rainy weather.
How To Make A Decision
As we get older, we find ourselves facing harder and harder decisions.
The sticky situations at work, the heart-rending relationships, the search for a place to live and person to be. It can definitely feel overwhelming at times. We’re here to remind you of some of the tried and true methods to make sense of the madness.
The sticky situations at work, the heart-rending relationships, the search for a place to live and person to be. It can definitely feel overwhelming at times. We’re here to remind you of some of the tried and true methods to make sense of the madness.
Something Cosmic
There’s a man in my life I can’t be with. A man who isn’t right for me and whom I am not right for in return. I’ll just say the things we have never said to each other but know without needing to. He’s too old for me, and I’m too young for him. Our families wouldn’t understand, our friends would maybe indulge in empathy but ultimately succumb to confusion as well. We’re at such different points in our lives that we would both need to give things up for the other. Not the regular relationship compromises that are necessary when merging worlds, no—the big things. He’s already lived the life I want with someone. The love, the marriage, the child-rearing, the family. Our generations just barely missed each other, not enough to affect our incredible ability to connect, relate, and make each other laugh. But enough to mean that we can never be a we.
Unnecessary Expenses To Cut From Your Budget
Among the many plights of the 20-something, budgeting an entry level salary is certainly up there on the list.
Good thing we're scrappy though, right? If you're seeking some places to trim the fat spending-wise, look no further! Here are a couple ways to increase your cash flow.
Good thing we're scrappy though, right? If you're seeking some places to trim the fat spending-wise, look no further! Here are a couple ways to increase your cash flow.
Almost Lovers
They walked along the streets of the most romantic city in the world, the Eiffel Tower breaking the skyline ahead of them. Five friends with careers in various states of disarray—not in a bad way, just in a twenty-something way—choosing to take a break from it all and explore for the good of their hearts and sanity.
Your Mid-Year Resolutions
Some of us have summer break or summer Fridays, and for those of us that don’t, days are still longer and spirits brighter. Summer is the perfect time to take a breath and give yourself some TLC.
We’ve hit the halfway mark since making New Year’s resolutions—what better time to do a mental, emotional check in?
We’ve hit the halfway mark since making New Year’s resolutions—what better time to do a mental, emotional check in?
In The Name Of Friendship
In a few short hours, I’ll be boarding a plane and crossing an ocean to reunite with my best friends in the entire world. Between New York City and Paris lie 3,625 fateful miles, and those little miles are all that stand between us and our happiest, silliest selves. It’s a much needed break from this crazy city and demanding job—in short, I cannot fucking wait.
Nerd Culture & Its Effect On Dating
Nerd is the new black. Smarts and passion are in, and that's a cool thing in a lot of ways. With the rise of startup culture and the maker revolution, we're seeing this intense and unapologetic value in ideas and creation. Welcome to nerd culture—in that group, we have academics, comic book geeks, techies, and everything in between.
My 36 Hour First Date
“So I’m never going to see you again, am I?”
She held her iPhone to her ear, head tilted, body propped up against the wall next to her tiny twin bed.
“It was just too much,” he answered.
She held her iPhone to her ear, head tilted, body propped up against the wall next to her tiny twin bed.
“It was just too much,” he answered.
Secrets
“You have a way of bringing out secrets in people.”
As we sat together under the twinkly Shake Shack string lights, I thought about my friend sitting in front of me. Endlessly observant and expert at social intricacies, he was so spot on about people. I turned his assessment of me over in my brain. Secrets. Hmm.
As we sat together under the twinkly Shake Shack string lights, I thought about my friend sitting in front of me. Endlessly observant and expert at social intricacies, he was so spot on about people. I turned his assessment of me over in my brain. Secrets. Hmm.
Confessions Of An Optimist I Want To Quit Dating
I want to quit dating. And I’m not the girl who hates dating. I’m not the introverted girl or the too-busy girl. I like meeting new people, I like the discovery phase, the opening up, the probing, the surprise at commonality every time. I like the stories it produces, I love when my heart races, and even when it doesn’t—I think it’s kind of pretty that we tried.
5 Books From Our Childhood We Should All Reread
It’s easy to forget how much our childhood books shaped us.
They were the books we all owned in hard copy—hard cover, even. They were the books we read and reread so many times without getting sick of them. They were the books that took us to entirely new worlds and let our already free imaginations run freer. As we grow older, imagination sometimes takes a back seat to facts, analytics and logic. Flash back for a moment—take the time to reread some books from your childhood and marvel in their simple profundity. Here are a few that we like.
They were the books we all owned in hard copy—hard cover, even. They were the books we read and reread so many times without getting sick of them. They were the books that took us to entirely new worlds and let our already free imaginations run freer. As we grow older, imagination sometimes takes a back seat to facts, analytics and logic. Flash back for a moment—take the time to reread some books from your childhood and marvel in their simple profundity. Here are a few that we like.
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